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Denglish 23: Movies, Documentaries and Deutschland

I am a huge Netflix junky; I rent tons of regular movies, but I also love documentaries. Thus, when I mention a “movie” we’ve just received in the mail, The Wife can never be sure to which I am...

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Denglish 25: My German Wife Uses Google Chat Emoticons

In Google Chat, you can type “<3″ and a little heart will jump to life in your chat window, conveying love and affection to your conversational partner. Of course, all your good intentions go right...

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Denglish 27: Quantifying Our New York Sexytime

Reflecting upon our trip to New York in 2010, my wife had this to say about our romantic habits while in the Big Apple: THE WIFE: “We never had just ONE sex, it was always three or four.” Click here …...

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Denglish 34: Those Awful German Names

Back in 2010, The Wife and I stayed in a hostel in Brooklyn. We rented a private room, which was furnished with 2 rickety bunk beds, a tiny refrigerator and a sickly little houseplant too pathetic to...

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Denglish 46: The German To-Do List for Complete Retards

Now, I’ll be real honest with you — this post doesn’t pertain to Denglish in any way. There are no mistranslations or German idioms lacking cultural context. This is just one blind swing in the endless...

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Pictures: Instagram, Dead Fish and my German Wife

As you know, I recently discovered Instagram; an iPhone app which allows talentless hacks like me to apply trendy filters to any photograph and create superficially engaging imagery. I’ve been using...

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Denglish 52: My German Wife Uses My Awesome Nicknames Against Me

I use a lot of nicknames when I greet familiar people. Friends, family members, co-workers… no one is safe. On the fly, I come up with nicknames like “fruity cakes,” “jack weasel” or “slobber jockey,”...

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Denglish 53: Proper German Conduct for Hawaiian-Themed Bars

Back in February of 2011, The Wife decided to join me for my German class at Portland Community College (PCC). We had a few hours to kill before class, so we stopped at a Hawaiian-themed karaoke bar on...

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Denglish 54: My German Wife Answers Nature’s Call in Washington D.C.

During the long-distance portion of our relationship, The Wife and I flew several times between Frankfurt, Germany and Portland, Oregon in order to see one another. My wife has flown into every...

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Denglish 55: My German Wife Recommends a Swift Cleansing of the Genitals

My wife and I are still in that stage of our relationship where we enjoy showering together. You know the one I’m talking about; that nauseatingly sweet period of time in which you are perfectly...

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